245 Analog
244.1 Digital
Any other day, this would probably have made me delighted, but since anxiety and sadness caused me not to eat much on Sunday (though when I did, I stuck to low-carb), I'm not feeling that proud of myself.
Ugh, when personal problems arise, why is it that some days, dieting is the last thing you want to follow, and other days, EATING is the last thing you want to do?
Things have improved at home, but they're far from solved. I'm struggling now with how to convince my husband that he should get help for his depression, but he has such an aversion to being dependent on drugs (his brother Kirk--remember him?--is dependent on MANY drugs) that the thought of taking Prozac (or whatever) for the rest of his life isn't appealing. And, it affects him sexually (he was on an anti-anxiety med when I first met him and was sooooo glad to wean himself off it when he stopped teaching--which is why he started taking it). But this weekend was hell. Total hell. I can't go through this for the rest of our lives together, afraid that every little thing I do wrong will be met with anger and resentment...he found something wrong with *everything* I did this weekend. It was like he was searching for something to snap at me for.
So, I'm sad.
I'm leaving tomorrow for a short, fun little trip a couple hours away to go to a concert with some girl friends from high school, and we're staying in a hotel that night. I don't know yet if I'll stay on plan or not. Since this will be a nice escape from the Crap Den that's been home lately, I might just choose to enjoy everything about the getaway, including food.
But I'm back on today, and doing okay.
2 comments:
What a well timed mini vacation.
I can't imagine what life is like with your husband, but it does sound miserable, for both of you. I hope you can make him understand how this is affecting YOU, as well as him. And maybe he'll consider getting some help.
As for your mini trip. I think you should try to stay on plan. I've done multiple vacations low-carb now, and it's pretty easy.
Don't stress over it, just make the best choices you can.
You will SO regret it if you pig out.
Where have you been? I hope you're coming back soon. :(
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